I need to decorate my house with these.
“I did not so much bruise my brain as I smashed the absolute shit out of it.”
“I don’t know what I’m sleeping in, but it’s comfortable and not as wet as it should be. I’m keeping it.”
“Alright, I’m feelin’ like most of a person again. And there’s still like a whole…hour left in the day. Score.”
“Look, no offense meant, but I think we both know this made a lot more sense when we were drunk. Really, really, really drunk.”








